Untitled
by cg2006
Summary: [attempted humor and smut again] Oneshot. NaruSasu. Not at all for nonyaoi fans thank you very much. Sasuke deals with a drunk [or is he?] Naruto who's been charged with drunk driving [or has he?]. Again.


yes, more attempted smut from me...yeah...I started it some time ago, and I thought I oughta finish it, so...

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Sasuke Uchiha entered the police station acting like he knew the place like the back of his hand, because he kind of did. He wasn't a delinquent; it's just that his (deceased) father used to be the chief of police and took Sasuke there often when he was young. He didn't visit the station as often anymore, which was sort of a good thing. The new chief of police was Kakashi Hatake, who'd been a friend to the Uchiha's for a while. 

The usual procedure Sasuke performed was to first wipe his shoes on the mat, whether they were dirty or not, and then to say hello to a portrait of his father that hung on the part of the wall that stooped lower over the receptionist's desk. Then he'd walk up to the receptionist him/herself. This time, it was a female, who was on the phone at the moment. She hung up and looked at Sasuke expectantly.

"Uh, Uzumaki Naruto," he said quietly. The receptionist smiled, oddly, and pointed down the hall to the left, and told him which room. "Thanks."

_What did he do this time…_he thought jadedly, as he walked down the hall, nodding politely to passing police officers. Suddenly he heard a yelling voice that sounded familiar, and trusting his conscience and ears, he went to the door where he thought it came from. He peered in, and sighed. He'd found his blond, who was yelling/babbling at Kakashi and one of the officers who accompanied him. Sasuke let himself in, and Naruto stopped rambling and turned to the newcomer.

"SHASHKAY, MAH—ACK!!" He choked and gagged when his collar suddenly dug into his neck when Kakashi restrained him, by pulling the back of his t-shirt. Naruto turned around and clumsily slapped the hand away.

"Jeesh, ahm not gonna…not gonna strangle 'im or anythin'…Ka…Ka…whatevah y' name was…"

"Ka-ka-shi," the man said loudly and slowly.

"Whatevah…"

"What did he do this time?" Sasuke asked, though it wasn't really hard to figure out. He could smell beer neared the three.

"Uh, drunk driving."

"…again?"

"Yep!" Kakashi chirped, as if he enjoyed having to hold onto a drunk Naruto countless times. "You know, you should try putting him on a leash or something, Sasuke."

The young man coughed. "Not if you mean in some kinky, perverse way."

Kakashi shrugged. "Either way, doesn't matter. Just a suggestion."

"I dun wanna leash on meh!" Naruto wailed. "'m not a dog; dogs need leashes. Pakkun's a dog 'n' you don' gotta leash on 'im!"

"Shut it, Naruto," Sasuke grumbled. He was rather tired, and in a crappy mood since he got the call from the police station about Naruto. "I'll pay the fine and we'll go home."

A few moments later, the two boys were outside. Sasuke steered Naruto towards their car, but the blond turned around and attempted to latch onto Sasuke.

"Piggehback, Shashkay!" he said.

"No. Keep moving your drunk ass forward."

"Waah! Shashkay's mad at meh…" Naruto cried. "Why're ya always mad at meh?"

"I am _upset_ because if you keep this up there is going to be a huge dent in my bank account!"

They reached the car and Sasuke dug through his jeans pockets for the keys he had slipped in there when Kakashi gave them back to him, at the same time trying to keep ahold of Naruto, who seemed confused.

"…someone's tryin' t' get inta ya bank accoun'?"

Sasuke deadpanned. "No, I meant that there's a lot of money missing now because I've had to bail you out of jail or pay for _your_ fines."

"…uh?"

"Never mind," the ravenet sighed, and pushed the blond into the car. "Shut up and let's get home. I'm tired."

oOoOoOo (lookie, bubbles! Cough. Sorry. "Smut"'s comin' up soon, y'all, dun worry...xD)

Sasuke carried Naruto, who passed out on the way home, bridal style out of the car, up the driveway, through the door (with much difficulty because first he had to unlock the door of course), and finally dropped him (carefully) on the bed. He watched the slumbering blond for a while, and then turned to leave when he felt a tugging on his pant leg.

"Sit next t' me," Naruto said groggily, as he sat up and patted the space next to himself. Sasuke sat down. The blond instantly tried to cuddle up against him, but Sasuke poked forehead, causing the uncoordinated Naruto to flop backwards and fall off the bed with a thud. "Oww…" He clumsily clambered back onto the bed and next to Sasuke. "That hurt…"

"Hn."

Naruto leaned on Sasuke, who did not push him away this time. "Violence isn't the answer…" he murmured, as he nuzzled the warm, soft flesh of Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke groaned. "Stop it, Naruto."

"Why…?" the blond whined, trying to kiss him.

"Because."

He was briefly held an arm's length away while Sasuke placed a pillow in between himself and the blond. But a pillow did not stop Naruto with an ambition.

"Cuz what," he breathed into Sasuke's ear, "cuz what…Sasuke…?"

The ravenet had enough and turned around to snap at Naruto, but froze. All he had planned to say vanished from his mind as he gazed into the half lidded azure eyes that stared back lustfully at him. Warm breath danced on his lips.

"N-naruto…?"

"I'm gonna kiss you now… and I don't care whether you want to or not." He closed off the distance between him and Sasuke.

"Wait a minute…" Sasuke mumbled, when he pulled away suddenly from his makeout session with a now confused looking Naruto. He cocked his head to the side, "You weren't really drunk, were you?"

He got a grin in reply, and Naruto advanced on Sasuke again, until the ravenet pulled away a second time.

"So what's with that beer smell?"

"Perfume a la Budweiser."

"Ah…"

"Now that that's cleared…" Naruto leaned in again, attempting to resume making out, but Sasuke held him away.

"I guess I won't feel guilty screwing you then, if you aren't really drunk."

"Dammit, Sasuke, why can't you have a one track mind like me and focus on making out?!!"

The other boy rolled his eyes. "Alright…"

But then for a third time the make out session was halted.

"Shut up," the blond said loudly, before Sasuke. "We're going to make out, and then I'm going to screw you tonight. Okay? Okay. Now that that's settled, no more interruptions."

"Bossy…"

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might i get a second chapter lemon written by someone else who thinks this story could definitely go on? xD I was just kidding...

Seriously, this is all you're gonna get from me, regarding smutty-ish stuff. See, it was pretty vague, I know.

Lemon's still ain't gonna happen.

I am talking _strange _today... O.o


End file.
